Rent Them Pants

Outlet malls are the homes of black magic. I firmly believe this. How else is it possible to spend 2.5 hours and slightly less than $84 and go home with 2 pairs of perfectly fitting blue jeans (a major miracle in and of itself), 2 shirts (from a trendy boutique), and 3 Corel cereal bowls (to help fill out the extremely lopsided secondhand dish set your parents contributed when your roommate moved out and took all her dishes with her)?

I called my parents as I was on my way to the mall. My father, unfamiliar with the town of Wrentham (because lives in a different state), thought that I said "rent them." He asked if I would be renting my new pants. I told him I hoped not.