Saturday, May 3, 2008

Look, Ma, One Hand!

Have you ever tried to live for any period of time without proper use of one of your limbs? In my experience this is hardest when you're short a leg, but having only one functional hand is also a giant pain in the ass.

Picture this: you go to the gym with your busted hand. First you must dress yourself. Shirts aren't too hard, but pulling on a pair of snug gym pants with one hand is awkward at best. And just think of when you try to hook - AND snap - your sports bra. Behind your back. With one hand. Yeah.

So you manage to get your clothes on, slowly and awkwardly. Next you must tie your shoes. Apparently it is possible to tie shoelaces one-handed, but I certainly don't know how. I, instead, am simply grateful I still have my second hand and can wiggle my fingers enough to hold a lace in place while I flail considerably with my good hand and eventually make my footwear relatively unlikely to fall off.

Once you make it to the exercise floor, you have the added fun of an audience for all your awkward one-handed attempts at lifting, carrying, and otherwise manipulating various things. The best might be when you try to drink out of your 50 ounce water bottle, which you can't lift with one hand when it's full.

My parents used to know a woman who could peel an orange with one hand...because she had only one. I have nothing but admiration for this woman. I can't make it through one afternoon without getting whiny about how slow my typing is and how sore my other hand is getting from doing all the work.

I am reminded how very lucky I am to have the full use of my limbs most of the time, though some people would question whether I truly have control over them, considering how frequently I manage to get myself into this position of being short one or another of them....

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